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Working through Grief: the Love and the Pain

I want to share a story about my mother and her grief.  For years after my sister passed away, my mother would talk about how she had no appetite. She often said that she was still so upset, so distraught, so sad, that she had no appetite and if she was lucky she would have one meal per day.

It broke my heart every time my mother would say that because my mother was collapsing her love for her daughter with the pain she felt in losing her. 

She believed her pain had to represent the amount of love that she had for my sister.

She believed that her pain was evidence of how much she loved my sister.

It broke my heart because my mother obviously loved my sister and didn’t have to prove it to anyone. But she, like many of us, still assumed that her pain had to equal her love. 

Does this resonate with you? 

Are you doing something similar, where you feel like you should be in pain because you’ve lost your person?  Does it feel like an insult to them if you’re not in pain? 

If you are doing that, please understand there are different ways to express your love and frankly, you don’t have to live your life in pain because of your heartbreaking loss.   I know it can feel like a betrayal –I often felt that way myself, but you deserve to live a rich, full life, and you deserve to remember your loved one without pain. 

If you’d like to explore how to release the pain and be able to remember the good times with your loved one, schedule your Discovery Call here.  It’s a free, confidential, and no pressure conversation.